By Ashley Catalan
Illustration by Yana Samoylova, Staff Illustrator
I have only ever known of following my passion for music and writing, and it’s hard to imagine me without it. I have no idea what I would be doing if I didn’t follow it.
A few weeks ago, I would be scrolling through Instagram stories, normally spamming through, yet something caught my eye.
One of my old high school classmates had begun doubting herself about following her passion of becoming a veterinarian. She had taken note of many complaints about the job, with its high demand, responsibility, and academic struggle, all with little reward. Seeing her start doubting her passion due to the complaints was disheartening.
At this time, I also noticed an ongoing trend on my TikTok For You page, where current college students are elbow deep in the academics of their major yet still fantasize about a universe where they end up following their passion.
It’s a tragic tale, seeing many give up on their passions due to many reasons, all of which are none but the system’s fault.
I’m a first-year music education major with an English minor. My decision to become a music education major came from my eighth grade and high school band directors. They were all strict and almost seemed unwelcoming, yet the community they built said otherwise. It was close knit and always alive.
In my four years of high school, I knew it was the happiest I had ever been, creating long-lasting memories between my friends and the teachers. It always made me excited to go to school early and made me excited to stay after school for concerts. The community that was made inspired me to continue music and become an educator, hoping to give the same passion to my future students.
Then, when it comes to English, I used to love reading historical fiction, becoming obsessed with the “I Survived” and “Hazardous Tale” books. Yet it wasn’t until I was 12 that I realized I adored writing. I loved putting my ideas onto paper and giving others the same thoughts and ideas I had. It was addictive, always imagining what my next story would be about and how it would be portrayed. When applying for college, I knew that while I wouldn’t major in writing, I would minor in it. I always knew music was my main passion and knew was going to be too busy with double majoring in English as well, hence my decision to choose English as my minor. It allowed a lot of freedom and not as much of a task to complete when focusing on music.
Another significant factor in choosing my major is my first high school job. I used to work for a big technology retail company, taking the roles of salesperson and cashier. And while I was initially excited to work my first job, I quickly grew to hate it and developed anxiety from it. I would work only weekends, and every Friday, I would have an endlessly sinking pit in my stomach when I returned to the sales floor. I despised it.
I refused and still refuse to work with such a mindset; it was the last nail in the coffin.
I started my creative writing minor and didn’t realize how life-changing it would be. When I enrolled in my first creative writing class in November, I was already fantasizing all through December and January about all the writing I would be doing for the spring semester. And even now, that excitement has not diminished by one bit. Even with a 9 a.m. class, I woke up excited to get to class and further develop my writing.
The same goes for music; I have played for nearly eight years, and while the initial excitement has gone away, I still have moments of being giddy when playing the clarinet and piano. I also get moments of awe at how far I have improved in my playing and how beautiful I believe music can be played and perceived.
And while all of this is true, it is the same as any other major. It’s a lot of hard work. Specifically, my major is a lot of work, and it requires 75-75.5 credits to graduate, making it one of the heftiest majors. There are a lot of moments of doubt and regret, wondering if all the work is even worth it in the end. But if one truly wants to follow their passion, they must fight through it.
In the end, it’s the reason you came here. The feeling of following a passion major is subjective to anyone, but for me, it’s exciting. I dream about my future and am excited for it. Even now, I look nearly 10 years into my future, and I fantasize how one day I will sit in an office all while I can hear my students yelling and playing their instruments outside the door.
I imagine myself talking to some students, giving them advice on how to improve their playing or even if it’s just to help them with life advice. I imagine planning the trips my band will take to compete and all the memories they will create and reminisce about. They will have photos on their phone of the friends they made in the band program I created, forming a community in which all my students feel safe.
Most importantly, I will walk up onto a stage with the stage lights burning into my neck and blinding my students, and I will conduct them, leading through a dramatic yet emotional piece. I’ll look insane jumping around on the podium, but I will conduct with all my love and passion for the music.
And in that moment, all the regret, doubt and struggle I had will disappear.
If one were to ask me if it’s possible to be successful in any industry, in all honesty, no. It’s nearly impossible to succeed with a career in the humanities. The system that has been set up is devastating to us. None of the humanities are given the proper funding to continue a stable and certain career, and in some careers, the only chance you have is if you’re popular or famous enough.
If you ask any department, whether it’s art, music, dance, philosophy, English, education, etc., they will all state that they need funds. We aren’t given the correct amount of support to be given the proper materials, education, or ability to be the best we can be to succeed.
“So why do you do it?” Because I know that I shouldn’t be punished just because I want to follow my passion. My passion is everything to me. It is why I wake up to school and am eager to go to bed for the next day. It runs in my blood, and it connects me to my roots. It is my motivation.
While it is unfortunate, the main factor when being a humanities major is you have to settle. You will have to settle with whatever you get in the future, and you have to settle with the conditions you are forced to work with. There is a possibility that I will wake up with nothing, but I know that I will always wake up motivated to go to work.
Even with the system in place, we still need humanities, more now than ever. With the country falling apart and many people going against each other, we need to remember what brings us together as a society, whether it be music, history, culture, religion, morals, or everything else.
We’re all connected, whether by the heart, mind, or soul; even if we don’t believe we are, we also connect on that belief. The humanities allow us to think, enjoy, and reflect.
Think of it as an activist fighting the odds for the greater good. We’re fighting for our future.
As said earlier, we shouldn’t be punished for following our passions. Whether it’s a safety job or not, we must follow whatever makes us the happiest.
However, the topic of money should also be considered, and it’s okay if most go toward a safer route for their future. Passion should not just be discarded completely, especially if it’s in the humanities. As long as it’s considered a minor or even a hobby, it’s one step closer to help rebuild our community.
This article was submitted by an independent student. If you are interested in having your work featured in The Panther, reach out to pantheropinions@chapman.edu.
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