May 9, 2025
Darby Hinkley
What restores your soul?
I think about this a lot. For me, it comes down to many things: Nature walks, quality time with friends and family, writing poetry, watching funny shows or movies… But, honestly, when everything else is stripped away, music is the magic that keeps me going.
No matter what I’m going through, I know someone else has been there and gets it, and I am ever grateful that they’ve worked so hard to share their creative talents with the world so I can feel whole again.
I’m picky about music. I like what I like, and I know it when I hear it. I suppose some might say I like “weird music” as I also like “weird food.” But I’m cool with that, because being weird is awesome. We are all unique, and that’s what makes life interesting. Trying to conform to others’ standards is not only pointless, but impossible. Just do your thing, and the right people will come around.
May is Mental Health Month, and it’s also my birthday month, and the month when flowers start blooming, temps warm up, and we start getting excited for summer. May is the month of hope.
Music gives me hope, comfort, and peace. I typically listen to loud alternative rock, mostly in my car, so if you see me driving around town singing at the top of my lungs, carry on. That’s how I gain peace. It’s a combo of interesting instrumentation, creative beats, and poignant lyrics for me. As a writer, I’m obsessed with words, so lyrics really hit me hard. I like moody music, because life has ups and downs, and I appreciate having so many options for different moods and feelings. I’ve got plenty of those.
I’m not married to alternative rock, however. I can enjoy a good song from any genre, from country to classic rock to hip hop to pop. It just depends on the musicality and lyrics. Is it different? Is it creative? Are you surprised by this song because it’s so much better than others, and you want to dissect it and listen to it on repeat, because it speaks to you in a way you can’t even comprehend?
I recall as a young teen in the ’90s listening to my cassette tapes over and over again until they wore out. If the lyrics were not included in the jacket, I literally paused the song to write down the lyrics as I listened. Then CDs came out, and I thought I was the coolest as I ran around town with my anti-skip Discman strapped to my wrist, jamming to Green Day’s “Dookie,” Pearl Jam’s “Ten,” or Soundgarden’s “Superunknown,” among many others. My explicit Rage Against the Machine album tended to be confiscated by my mom, but when I realized she was hiding it among her Christmas CDs… well, let’s just say I found ways to listen to it, as teens do. (Love you, Mom, and Happy Mother’s Day!)
Actually, my mom has a lot to do with why I love music. She’s played piano her whole life, and taught us, although none of us three kids kept at it. She also plays guitar, and played the saxophone years ago. I played French horn in high school, participating in concerts and marching band. My son Mason plays piano, thanks to my amazing mom. He also plays drums in the church praise band, and I’m happy to report he has a wonderful sense of what constitutes good music. He also has a wide range of musical interests, from Pink Floyd to Kendrick Lamar, and we both love discovering new music from many genres. My husband is also devoted to music, and he used to be in a band downstate for many years. He still plays guitar at home and writes guitar music daily using a tab book. We are a musical family, and I love it.
I often write down lyrics that speak to me on a very personal level. I refer back to them when I’m feeling down or overwhelmed. I don’t know these artists, but I feel like I’m friends with them, and I admire their courage for sharing their thoughts and talents with the world, no matter what anyone thinks. Other people out there are feeling the same way you are, right now. Someone understands what you are going through, and that can offer hope through the struggle.
Music is a connector. A healer. It’s like emotional pain relief for me. When I’m immersed in one of my favorite songs, I feel alive. I feel present. I feel grateful.
I’m not embarrassed to say I have mental health struggles. I don’t know how it feels to be anyone else, but I feel things very deeply — ups, downs, everything in between. And I’m deeply blessed to have music to turn to when nothing else seems to work. Music is my daily medicine, and I believe in its power to heal.
Here are some lyrics I’ve written down recently, which I turn to for reassurance that I’m not alone, no matter what I’m going through.
“Everybody wants something from me now, and I don’t wanna let ’em down.”
~ Billie Eillish, “everything i wanted”
“I’ve gone crazy, can’t you tell? I threw stones at the stars and the whole sky fell.”
~ Gregory Alan Isakov, “The Stable Song”
“Everything is nothing ’til you realize it’s something you want.”
~ Alice Merton, “Lash Out”
“I’ve wasted time, I’ve wasted breath. I think I’ve thought myself to death.”
~ Kongos, “Come With Me Now”
“Look what they do to you. Look what they do to me. You must be joking if you think that either one is free.”
~ Highly Suspect, “My Name Is Human”
“A good song never dies. It just reminds you of where you were the first time it made you cry, the first time you felt alive. No, a good song never dies.”
~ Saint Motel, “A Good Song Never Dies”
If you want to chat about music and lyrics, mental health, or anything you’re in the mood for, drop Darby Hinkley a line at dhinkley@thealpenanews.com. Call her at 989-358-5691.
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